He's a Tramp
by princessangelwings
Summary: McShep established relationship. set after 'the tower', Sheppard touches a device which make him and McKay sing songs to express their emotions. Rodney does 'the lady and the tramp' whilst Sheppard feel lost. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**HE'A TRAMP! **

McShep Slash -oh god I should so not be allowed to drink alcohol ever again! Apologies in advance for this, I was (still am!)totally demented!

Spoilers for that shockingly shite episode 'the tower'

Colonel Sheppard left the balcony he and Elizabeth shared. They had been laughing about his team's latest exploits of world. "Got the drones, got a jumper hell, I even got the girl!" since Elizabeth had been the first, on a pretty short list of people John and Rodney had told about their 'relationship', she had understood the humour in his words. The though of him actually bedding that silly girl back on the planet was ridiculous! He'd soon pushed her off him once he'd come back to his senses. Although his senses were regrettably absent for the kissing part. What! He's a guy! You expected something more? Besides Rodney would understand, eventually. Elizabeth and John had laughed for over an hour about the though of John sleeping in the proverbial and possibly literal, if McKay had his way, dog house and the inevitable cold shoulder John was bound to be subjected to! Never mind, they'd been through worse and really it was only a kiss and she had been pretty forceful- he hadn't stood a chance.

They laughed even more at the though of them making him their king! Seriously that stupid backwards society had actually wanted to make him king, him! God this galaxy really was desperate if they wanted to make John-screw-up-extraordinaire- Sheppard king!

He decided to get some well earned supper from the mess, but first a quick stop at the lab to collect the real King – king of the geek, at any rate- and force him to eat a decent meal as apposed to the normal coffee and powerbars that were Rodney's standard. You never know there might even be a civil conversation to be had, but he doubted it. He knew he was in for some serious sucking up, but he was a big man he could manage to struggle though and anyway Rodney would soon forgive the next time his life gets put in jeopardy. Which it will, not much doubt about that.

Rodney was hunched over his desk in the centre of the otherwise deserted room, lap top open typing happily away. The rest of the scientists and lab staff knew where their beds were and were thankfully absent, he knew Rodney was dying to rant at him about the latest 'space bimbo' incident and he'd much prefer it done in private. He idly picked up a small device from someone else's work station as he passed. The square object fitted neatly in his hand and flashed blue momentarily at his touch, but did nothing else. He shrugged and set it down on the corner of McKay's desk. Rodney completely ignored him, proceeding to type faster and angrier. He tenderly touched his lovers arm at the elbow his skin tingling as skin met skin. The hairs on their arms raised and a feeling similar to static electricity passed over them.

Rodney looked up, slightly confused by the reaction their skin had just had to find Sheppard looking equally perplexed. He opened his mouth to speak but found no sound forthcoming. Panic began to set into his features and his hands flew to his throat. Sheppard wanted to speak too but found it impossible. Okay, not good, humm… oh crap, device. He rubbed his forehead with his left hand as if he were experiencing a headache. Rolling his eyes in exasperation, John picked the device back up and held it out for Rodney to inspect. Rodney gave him his most annoyed 'I can not believe how stupid you are' look swiped the device turning it over in his hand. It remained dormant. John took his lover's hand and led him to the workstation he'd swiped the square from. McKay rolled his eyes when he saw that it was Kavanagh's desk and brought his hand up to key his radio. Sheppard smiled at him, shrugged again and led them to Elizabeth's office.

Elizabeth was running through some paperwork when the 'Atlantis Two' as they had come to be known marched purposefully in. Sheppard looked apologetic a smile playing on his face, McKay looked livid. She guessed the 'talk' had not been too successful then.

She decide to focus on calming Rodney down, he appeared to be only just containing his panic. "What's the problem Rodney?"

She had expected a rant, snark, an explosion of insulting angry words all aimed at Sheppard. She did not expect him to burst in toa painful rendition of a song she'd not heard since childhood.

"**He's a tramp, but they love him, breaks a new heart everyday,"**

Rodney looked as shocked as her when the words spilled from his mouth. Sheppard mouth droped open but then he grinned harder than ever before. He placed an Ancient device on her desk and settled back against the door frame enjoying the spectacle of his lover singing Disney songs about him at their boss!

"**He's a tramp, they adore him, and I only hope he'll stay that way"**

Rodney was swaying his hips and snapping his fingers in time to the music playing in his head, singing at the top of his voice in a deep baritone.

**"He's a tramp, He's a scoundrel, He's a rounder, He's a cad, He's a tramp, But I love him, Yes, even I have got it pretty bad" **

Sheppard was on the floor by now, tears spilling from his eyes as he laughed harder at his lover. Elizabeth had finally overcame her shock and was leaning back in her chair hooting with laughter at the insane sight of Rodney McKay Atlantis's own mini Hitler singing about his lover's infidelity. The control room staff was watching the show too; there was not a dry eye in the house!

"**You can never tell when, He'll show up, He gives you plenty of trouble, I guess he's just a no-count pup, But I wish that he were double!" **

Rodney's face was the picture of shock and misery, he could not control the words spring from his lips but he found it hard to begrudge everyone for laughing. He caught sight of his reflection in the glass and he had to admit he did look ridiculous mincing, swaying his hips and singing out of tune.

**"He's a tramp, He's a rover, And there's nothing more to say .If he's a tramp, he's a  
good one, And I wish that I could travel his way, Wish that I could travel his way, Wish that I could travel his way." **

Sheppard was by now, laying on the floor gasping for breath, clutching his sides, his face beet red. Rodney' song over he snatched up the device and stormed out of the office, steeping over Sheppard's huddled form in his rush to get to the infirmary. He needed this device checking over, plus Carson had a really nice bottle of scotch stashed away, he could really use a glass of right now!

Man, I really got to stop drinking Stella! It's not good for coherent thought! Review- let me know if I should continue. I got a really bad idea for a part two, with Sheppard singing and some h/c but only if i get around to wrtting it. Lol.


	2. Chapter 2

_Ask and you shall receive! Thank you for the kind reviews, I hope this satisfies your wishes. Its not really funny however, I couldn't imagine Sheppard singing a jaunty little song, although I did think of 'whistle while you work' or 'it's raining men'. Lol. So yeah I apologize but this really is a story of pain. _

**GUILTY **

Two days after Rodney's little 'outburst' in Elizabeth's office, Sheppard still could not talk. McKay and Beckett had both summarized that the device Sheppard had foolishly activated was some sort of emotional filter. Rodney had sung his heart out because he was angry and upset with John after John's relapse back on the planet of the idiotic ancient descendents. Seriously though, who wouldn't be angry if the love of your life had trouble keeping it in his pants! It wasn't like he didn't get great sex back on Atlantis, Rodney was a very giving and loving partner! Not that anyone but Sheppard knew that, of course.

Sheppard was moping about. Their really was no other word for it, he was moping. Like the petulant teenager he was (inside). McKay was sick of it, they had tried everything, and I mean everything. Sheppard needed to experience some intense emotions to trigger a sing song. As soon as he did he would be able to talk again and get back to being the military commander of Atlantis. Instead of the mardy, fed up, and pissed off with everyone in general, person he was presently. Beckett had done every test conceivably on both Sheppard and McKay but found no physical reason for the muteness or the singing. McKay had tried scaring Sheppard, creeping up on him to trigger a rendition of 'hero' or 'man, I feel like a woman' but to no avail. The marines had tried to get their CO to sing by ignoring orders to get him annoyed. It was beyond a joke. Hell, even a super blowjob with 'the man in black' playing in the background hadn't helped.

Sheppard walked forlorn into the mess, trying desperately to think of a solution to his problem. He was beginning to feel like a freak. Everyone knew that his cure was simply a release of pent up emotions, but John being John, kept his hidden. So well hidden in fact that even he couldn't seam to find them. He was really pissing Rodney off too. McKay was taking it personally because as Sheppard's lover surely he should be able to get some emotions to surface. But that wasn't the problem and John knew it. Rodney made him feel loved, good about himself and worthy of affection. When Rodney looked at him, he was more that just some flyboy, more than a pretty face, more than a gene. More than a screw up. When Rodney looked at him, he was wonderful. There were no negatives to those emotions, and John suspected that it was the negative ones that would be needed to rid him of this curse. The only problem being he didn't like negative emotions, that's why they were so well hidden. He suppressed them, locked them away when they couldn't hurt him. Except in his subconscious, in his dreams; his nightmares. He had to admit he'd of thought that Rodney, self proclaimed genius would have worked that out by now.

He seated himself in a far corner away from the rest of the eating masses. He played with his food, not really hungry and contemplated what was needed to get him back on active duty. He point blank refused to see Heightmeyer, but if he couldn't work this out himself then Elizabeth and Carson would force him. Rodney strolled over and joined him, coffee mug in hand. He listened as Rodney talked about the device and how the science dept instead of trying to fix it were trying to name it. _Name it, huh,_ _I bet Ford would have given it some really dorky name like the sing-o-matic or some such. _ As his thoughts turned to his old 2CI he felt his chest tighten. He dropped his fork with a clatter and fisted the fabric of his t-shirt over his heart.

"John? John! What's wrong?" McKay stood and came around to kneel beside him as his heart beat faster and faster, and then before he could stop it, the words spilled from his mouth. Nothing like the original song however, these words were haunted, seared with pain and grief.

"**I feel guilty, my words are empty, No signs to give you, don't have the time for you"**

Rodney gasped besides John and helped him to his feet. John stood shakily his hand laying flat on the table; his face contorted with… guilt.

"**You say I'm heartless, and you say I don't care, I used to be there for you, you've said I seem so dead, that I have changed, but so have you" **

The whole mess had now frozen eyes wide with shock. Elizabeth and Carson who had been sat by the door discussing Sheppard's condition both stood and stared at the pain in the man's voice.

"**Guilty (woah), guilty I feel so, Empty (yeah), empty you know how to make me feel"**

Sheppard's face was flushed red with embarrassment, a lone tear making it way down his left cheek, burning the skin underneath.

"**I put a shield upon you, I didn't mean to hurt you, would've only poisoned your mind, Never meant to make you cry"  
**

Sheppard gripped the sides of the table for support, his lover standing beside him unsure of how to comfort his grieving friend.

"**You've been so thoughtless, I can see right through you, You used to be there for me, don't you leave and say goodbye, Cause you have changed, but so have I"**

John refused to make eye contact with anyone as he continued his pained song, _damn ancients just couldn't leave well alone, could they? _

"**Guilty (woah), guilty I feel so, Empty (yeah), empty you know how to make me feel"**

Carson and Elizabeth regained themselves slightly and began to walk slowing across the mess towards John and Rodney, Carson having already contacted the infirmary to tell them, that they may well be needed soon if the expression on Colonel Sheppard's face was anything to go by.

"**I never thought that the time and the distance, between us made you so much colder, I'll carry the world on my shoulders"**

Elizabeth had never heard the song before but after hearing the lyrics she decided that they probably fitted her military commander rather well. She reached the table where John stood and noticed the death grip his hands had on it. Sheppard's body language screamed at her, he was clearly beyond shame.

"**Guilty (woah), guilty I feel so, Empty (yeah), empty you know how to make me feel"  
**

With his song finished, Sheppard raised his head, tear tracks visible on his flushed cheeks. It was Rodney who put two and two together, "Ford, naming things." He said, simply. Elizabeth gasped, she knew that Ford disappearance had been hard on John but she had no idea that his guilt ran so deep. Sheppard nodded. Rodney reached out and touched his shoulder to offer some comfort, some solace. But John shrugged him off. He needed to be alone right now and in a mirror of Rodney's reaction to public singing, he ran.


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry it took so long but I finally got around to finishing this truly bad idea for a fic. Enjoy.

three

He ran and ran until his legs could no longer carry him. He sank to the floor somewhere deep in the uncharted area of the city. Tears streamed down his cheeks burning his tender skin and making his lips taste salty. He sat there shoulders slumped, hugging his knees to his chest until a gentle hand upon his shoulder pulled him from his dark thoughts. He roughly wiped his eyes with his sleeve and looked into the sea blue eyes of his lover.

"John?" Rodney sat beside him and pulled him into a tight hug, his body warming comforting Sheppard like nothing else could. "You're not alone, you know that right?"

John sniffled and held on to Rodney for dear life his tears returning with gusto. "I know, it's just… he was just a kid you know? He was my responsibility and I let him down."

"No John, you didn't. You tried to help him, you went after him and never lost hope that he might return." Rodney held john at arms length to look him straight in the eye, to make his point clear. "You did everything you could; you have nothing to feel guilty for."

John blinked back the next onslaught of tears and nodded softly. "If only I'd tried harder, maybe… I don't know… I just wish I could do something."

"John you are one of the kindest men I have ever known, and I realize that this is incredibly hard for you, but believe me there was nothing you could do." Rodney gently reached up and wiped the tears from John's face with a callused finger. He let his hand linger and cupped Sheppard's cheek lovingly. John leaned into the touch needing the comfort being offered. Sheppard closed his eyes and allowed Rodney to trace the features of his face with his fingers, he trusted Rodney more that he's ever trusted anyone in his life, he'd allowed him to worm his way into his life and set up shop in his heart. "You know that I love you, I would do anything to make the pain and guilt you feel disappear but life just isn't that easy, but you will get through this. We'll get through this." Rodney leaned in and placed a delicate warm kiss on John's lips.

John responded and cupped Rodney's face in his hands brushing his fingers lightly though his soft wispy brown hair. Sheppard broke the kiss and looked his lover in the eye as if searching for the truth in Rodney's words, what he found there was nothing but pure love and understanding and in that moment he truly believed every word Rodney had spoken. "I love you too Rodney. I can't imagine life without you… you're like another part of me."

"Come on, let go back to civilization before they break out the search parties." They helped each other up, Sheppard legs stiff and unwilling at first from lack of movement.

"You mean they haven't already?" John quipped.

"Well Carson wanted to, but I convinced him to let me find you first. You gave us all quite a scare when you ran off like that." They entwined fingers as they walked at a leisurely pace towards the nearest transport.

"Yeah, sorry about that, I just need to think. Alone."

"I get it, but you are going to have to learn that you are not alone anymore, you have me. If you ever need anything, and I do mean anything I want to be your first port of call. I am your lover after all."

"How could I ever forget, and Rodney… thank you." Sheppard turned and embraced his scientist landing a wet emotion filled kiss on his lips.

"Yes well, I am rather unforgettable aren't I?"

"And modest, don't forget modest. Hey how about later you give me a private rendition of 'he's a tramp'- I'll show you what the song really means!"

"Never, ever, even mention that to me again!"

"Awww but you looked so cute shaking your stuff!"

"Do you want sex again, ever? Because the way you're going you are going to have a long boring and sexless life!"

"He's tramp but they love him…"

End


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